you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize