but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize