WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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