Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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