I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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