I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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