i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize