i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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