I feel like abortions should bother me more
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize