do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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