i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize