....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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