my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
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It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
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I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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