She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he fucked my hip out of place.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
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One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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