Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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