sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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