You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize