Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize