Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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