How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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