I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize