I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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