She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
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Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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