The maid of honor just puked.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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