did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize