Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize