Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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