maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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