How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize