Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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