it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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