I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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