We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
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so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize