Plan B is the new Plan A
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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