he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
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I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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