You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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