dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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