Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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