Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
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blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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