here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
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someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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