He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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