It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize