I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i will never coherently bang her
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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