I love black thongs
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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