We named our party play list daddy issues
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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