Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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