Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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