So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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