i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
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I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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