as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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